All you can't Leave behind

Should I pick up the phone???

2009-01-14T15:27:00.002+01:00

I tried to rally talk to this friend for a long time. Trying to tell her/him what I felt, how my life was, sharing my thought and feelings. She/he had always a good excuse for not listening... tired, working, going shopping, pissed off, in bad mood, had time but only talking for hours about how she/he felt...

Months went by and I gradually got distant... not at all resentful or angry... just my life went on and since I didn't manage to tell her/ him, I simply feel I have nothing to share anymore

Now she/ he's been ringing almost every day.

I really don't know why. And honestly do not care, it's like if someone on the tube when I'm listening to my favourite music on my Ipod wants to chat with me to pass the trip time. I simply do not care.

Should I pick up the phone for courtesy and fake it I care?

Or just let it go?

Lazy...

2008-09-12T12:09:00.005+02:00

I've been to lazy to write anything in here, although I would really like to...

I'm writing from the office, today it's raining cats and dogs, a real summer thunderstorm.

I really feel lazier than ever... Thanksfully it's friday, and we'll leave for Barcelona in the afternoon, I'm really looking forward to a good weekend with friends and family.. and to detox.... from my old addiction..... AGE OF EMPIRES!!!!

Last night I started playing just for a few minutes..... and then I couldn't resist!! I was doing the Attila the Hun campaign.... I got really hooked I stopped at the early hours only because Ricard came to drag me to bed! And I dreamt of all the little men digging gold and building farms and cutting the woods......

Pictures from Yellowstone National Park - Summer trip to USA and Canada

Happiness

2008-07-25T12:21:00.005+02:00

Tourists in Milan

2008-06-17T10:08:00.004+02:00

We had Marta and Jotes from Barcelona last weekend, we had a really good time!!!

ps in the first picture you can see Ricard's growing belly.....

I'm the aunt of a baby Jabba the Hutt

2008-05-29T09:28:00.002+02:00

Jabba Sara

Breaking the Waves

2008-05-26T21:24:00.005+02:00

Picture from Casa Batllo, maybe the most oniric work by Gaudi.

Water is theme that inspired him to realize the complex architecture and decoration of the building.

ps: breaking the waves is a wierd scottish movies we happened to se filming in the isle of Sky back in 1996 I guess...

How to save a Life

2008-04-23T15:00:00.004+02:00

I know I that my first-after a long time-post should be about something extremely serious, like how my life is developing towards reaching the ultimate Happiness (badly as usual, as you can imagine) or some extraordinary new adventure...

But I am really counting down to the next episode of Grey's Anatomy that will be aired on ABC TOMORROW!!!!

So..... my latest favourite soundtrack is obviously this one

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.....

San Francisco Museum of Modern Art

2007-11-28T10:31:00.000+01:00

Holidays part II - Amsterdam

2007-11-27T14:33:00.000+01:00

I know I'm a bit late to post summer picture.... but here they are ;)

Loss

2007-10-24T18:21:00.000+02:00

A dear friend, the only real friend I have here at work

Died

A few weeks ago

Moto accident

His wife gave birth to their first little girls 2 days later

I was and still are shocked

I find myself composing automatically his phone number to say "hey, let's go and have a coffe"

Life sometimes is just so difficult

I've been up and down, I've been in between

2007-10-02T17:42:00.000+02:00

A line from my everloved BonJovi.. sums up quite well how I've been feeling these lasts months!!

Anyway, I've been obviously too lazy to update my blog, which is a shame really because it could be just soooo good if I could stick to some daily commitment!

So, I'll try again.....

See you soon

Switzerland

2007-04-25T23:05:00.000+02:00

Bolzano

2007-04-22T22:58:00.000+02:00

Just a quick visit with Daniele and Claudio to see our common friend Ivan who was doing a Master in Bolzano.

We had plenty of Good food, Beer, Lovely "Stube", Woods, Mountains, Castles, Beer and more Beer.... And of course Linux and friends... no surprise with a bunch of IT men!

Quick update... A few pictures

2007-04-22T22:56:00.000+02:00

I haven't had much time to write, and I also felt quite uninspired.

I''l try to make up posting a few pictures.

Ah, a good (rare!!) piece of news: Ricard's sister Debora is getting married in december! We are all very happy.... a Xmas wedding!

Bored and blurred at the airport

2007-02-19T21:37:00.000+01:00

I ended up as usual waiting for 3 hours at the airport.. I was so bored that I started taking silly pictures... Here are some

weekend and Tapas in Barcelona

2007-02-11T21:41:00.000+01:00

Last weekend I was in Barcelona. Had an interview for a smashing job at La Caixa... I'm not fully satisfied with how it went, but still keep finger crossed!
We went with Debora and Sito out for some tapas in a nice place

Improvvisazione....

2006-11-14T16:59:00.000+01:00

I have a talk at Università Cattolica on Thursday and still haven't prepared anything

I have spent all day appling for job offers in Barcelona - without any clue on the job I applied for

I have signed up for a spanish language test - without having studied a single day

----- IMPROVVISATION!!! -------

Saturday's afternoon luxury

2006-11-11T16:35:00.000+01:00

A long hot shower that relaxes body and spirit

Slowing combing my hair

No rush

Ricard has just fallen asleep on the sofa while reading Asimov's novels and listening to his latest discovery.. Claudio Baglioni!

Ps. Pitcures from Deborah and Sito's visit last month

So confuuuuused, my heart bruuuuuuised

2006-11-09T16:25:00.000+01:00

Another day at work

Listening to Bridget Jones' Diary Soundtrack

Looking up to the tiny triangle of sky I can see from my window

I am about to start using some spare time to study something about Corporate Responsability

I have decided I want to write a paper for a conference in Bergamo in February... I must go back into studying, giving a swirl to my confuuuuuused brain cells.

As for my bruuuuuuised heart... can't do much about it

I've been away....

2006-07-10T10:43:00.000+02:00

.... from the blogsphere for a while... For many reasons:

I've had really no time at work
I've had really no time at home
I've got a bit bored
I was to lazy
I was to hot

I'm still all the above... but maybe because I'm planning to my canadian trip for next month I'm feeling a bit more inspired.....

Let us see!

How Do I Love Thee?

2006-05-08T14:07:00.000+02:00

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Bits...

2006-05-08T09:24:00.000+02:00

I had quite a nice weekend .

Yesterday it was hot and sunny we went to read in the park near home and relaxed a lot.

I've been playing to a PC game I bought recently called Keepsake.

Ricard is really sweet and supportive.

Shame I cannot say the same for others...

Going into hospital tomorrow. I'm really worried and anxious I haven't slept allnight, sure tonight will be the same.

See you in a week.

how can you manage to sleep...

2006-04-30T23:44:00.000+02:00

when your heart is racing at maximum speed, your head is hummering and your nose completely blocked?

I remember when I was a kid my mum would tell me to imagine something beautiful and conforting, like a toy shop window...

It used to work... but not now :(

Saturday's cleanings

2006-04-29T12:24:00.000+02:00

I was ordering my CDs and found these pictures of a trip to Norway we made 3 years ago...

We had a great time there, we made plenty of nature: woods, falls, lakes, ice, blue skies and midnight sun... unfortunately it was agoust so too late for northen lights.

Patience...

2006-04-29T12:10:00.000+02:00

... it's saturday morning

I'm feeling really bad... my hospital adventures has just started and unfortunately things are a bit worse than it was supposed to be

Patience

Ricard's gone to the dentist

I'm here with Guns'N'Roses playing sooooooo loud...

TAKE ME DOWN TO THE PARADISE CITY....

I'm singing out even louder.... I love these songs, they're so full of energy and life!

And remind me of my 16years old when I was their greatest fan....

When I went to Tourin to see them live and splet the night in front of the stadium gate with my best friends Chiara and Irene to secure a front line place.
It was hot and sunny, we got sunburned, met many people like us, played cards for hours waiting fot the show to start. And then it was just an explosion of lights, guitars, drums and 100.000 people singing out loud... unbelievable emotional.

That day has been the happiest in my life for a long time.. and even now 14 years later it's still in a good rank :D

It's a great anti-depressive! Maybe my neighbours aren't so happy ;)

Spirits

2006-04-13T11:56:00.000+02:00

A few days ago I visited a foto exibition by Francesca Woodman.

I'd already seen some of her works.

She was a very creative woman, quite a fragile soul, who died suiced when only 23.

Very inspiring works... and incredibly sad...

There was a time...

2006-04-13T11:48:00.000+02:00

.... when I felt young and free and wild (like Bryan Adam's song...) but these days I just feel grey and old and weak and trapped....

Must absolutely leave this job. These people are sucking my energies out...
it is so frustating

I've always thought that sowing seed of love, understanding, respect was a long term investment

But I doubt any of them is any fertile to anything but egoism, gence, rage and greed

Maybe in some years time, but I just know that I can't go on like th

Don't know why...

2006-04-05T09:32:00.000+02:00

.... There are thousands of ideas, thoughts, imagines in my little head when I'm going to bed or when I am waking up in the morning...

but they all seem to dissolve during the day......

Must be my brain-cell is day-sleeping :)

I'm back

2006-03-28T20:52:00.000+02:00

we finally managed to get internet at home..

It is quite weird to be connect from home..

I'm listening to Dario Marianelli's "Pride and Prejudice" Soundtrack

Ricard in on the sofa watcing Barcelona's football match vs Belfica

Spicy sausages and spinaches are cooking in the kitchen

A fresh bouquet is nicely smelling in the air.. gift from my last sunday birthday

This is as closest to normality I have ever dreamt of

ok...

2006-01-05T17:51:00.000+01:00

this new year is beginning quite in the wrong way...

A part from being still unable to produce any noticeble sound from my mouth and having the worst cough I've ever had and that kept we awake all night... (and made me almost puke on Gorgeous Boss immaculate white shirt when I was seating behind him at a meeting this morning and had a tremendous coughing attack --- he offered to buy me a scyroup indeed)..

this morning our heating machine (no idea which is the english word... but is the thing that "boils" water) broke down.. no remedy just buy a new one... for about 2.000 eurosssss!!!!!

Aaarghhhh... so

1) they're coming on saturday because tomorrow is holiday and I'm left in the freezing cold--- and no shower unless I want to kill myself--- I think my cough will appreciate

2) Ricard has just come back from the dentist - another 300 euros in one shot just to do some ordinary stuff

3) I've just finished making a tight budget for 2006 to allow us to make a big trip this summer -- but this absolutely unexpected expense just creates a huuuuuuuuge hole in my budget--

I HATE HAVING A MORTGAGEEEEEE

I HATE BEEING AN ADULT

----- Can't I just go back to school and forget about rent, bills & co? or win the lottery??

I'm going home now.... we'll have white rice for dinner... must save money!!

I'm speechless....

2006-01-03T18:01:00.000+01:00

In the very sense of the world... I have such a sorethroat and even if I breath with my best effort I cannot produce any sound!!

From Barcelona...

2005-12-28T12:49:00.000+01:00

It's been quite a few days I haven't touched a computer.... We've been in Barcelona since last week, and now I'm at my sister in law's, and while Ricard is babysitting our little niece Irina, I'm checking emails...

Xmas here has been quite strange... maybe because It's been the first time in 30 years (gp--sh) am soooooooo old ;) that I wasn't in Italy, maybecause unfortunately Ricard's family it's not at all easy.... and because some really close friends suffer the death of their fathers..

I don't know... I've been struggling against my "unhappiness gene".... I won it for a few hours... I was defeated many times... I'm a mixture of feelings... I feel like suspended in between.. I don't feel at home.. but nevertheless I am gratefull....

Don't know..

???

??

?

I've been a bit busy these days..

2005-12-16T17:23:00.000+01:00

With my work, with practical things, with thoughts, with emotions.

But I feel quite happy.. maybe it's the Xmas spirit that helps.

Maybe it's just the acknowledge that I'm trying to do my best.

I am aiming quite far in being a good person, and am just soo far from getting anywhere near it.

But I'm doing my best. Sometimes I just think I am using well my talents.

That is a warming feeling...

Turkey day

2005-12-16T16:48:00.000+01:00

A bit late... go and check this out...

Infinity - E naufragar m'è dolce in questo mare...

2005-12-14T14:44:00.000+01:00

Always dear to me was this lonely hill,
And this hedge, which from me so great a part
Of the farthest horizon excludes the gaze.
But as I sit and watch,
I invent in my mindendless spaces beyond,
and superhumansilences,
and profoundest quiet;
wherefore my heartalmost loses itself in fear.
And as I hear the windrustle through these plants, I compare
that infinite silence to this voice:
and I recall to mind eternity,
And the dead seasons, and the one present
And alive, and the sound of it. So in this
Immensity my thinking drowns:
And to shipwreck is sweet for me in this sea.

Giacomo Leopardi

A winter's tale

2005-12-01T17:53:00.000+01:00

A friend of mine from Norway sent me some really great pictures...

It's not so cold here, obviously, but as we're going to Copenhagen tomorrow I'm in full Winter mood.

I'm going home to finish my delicious Pain before
hubby comes back home and tell me off for eating too much of it ;)

Winter or Autumn?

2005-11-30T14:38:00.000+01:00

It’s official.

It’s cold.

It has been snowing. A lot. Even if in the city centre where I live it has already melted…

I felt lazy yesterday, so didn’t go to work.
Stayed in bed.
Baked my own Pain d'épices.. uhm.. I love the smell of cinnamon and ginger.

It tastes delicious.. Cold or toasted with goat cheese or with honey or jam… Then I prepared some mulled wine. It was so good.. watching the snow outside and treating myself…

I found the recipe in english, if anyone is interested..

Ingredients
100 g honey
140 g wholemeal flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
10 cl milk
1 egg
40 g butter
65 g soft brown sugar
1 tsp quatre-épices (4-spice powder, usually made of pepper, nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon -- you could substitute ginger for the cloves)

Preheat the oven to 180C. Warm the milk and add the honey, sugar and butter off the heat, stirring well. Put the flour, baking powder and 4-épices in a nixing bowl, make a well in the middle, break the egg into it, and add the milk. Mix well (or just throw the whole lot into a food processor).
Pour into a buttered 23-cm loaf tin and bake for 25 minutes. Lower the heat to 150C and cook for a further 15 minutes. Remove from the tin and cool on a wire rack. Store wrapped in clingfilm to keep it moist.

Italian welfare....

2005-11-25T17:14:00.000+01:00

Last week I spent 3 days trying to book an X-ray exam.

There's a kind of hospital just in front from where I work, so at lunch break went there. They told me "no booking in person you must phone reservation centre."

Ok. After 45 minutes of vivaldi's 4 seasons they told me "no dates available till next february. Try this other hospital".

Ok. After 10 minutes of vivaldi's 4 seasons -- again!! - they told me "no machines available here to do this X rays, we do only legs (?????). Try here".

Ok. Ater another 20 minutes and again the 4 season!!!!!!! - always the same part -at least they changed season - they told me "we do it, but no phone reservation, must come here from 8-12".

G-sh... ok.. woke up earlier on friday and wen there.. another 15 minutes queing (luckily no vivaldi in the room ;) and booked if for today.

This morning I went on time... forgot there's general strike today.. doctors are on strike too!
so.. one poor man doing it all.

2 hours later I managed to get this exam done.

Results will be ready in 3 days. Again, I'll have to go there at 8. And it costed me 24 euros..

Firking freeeeeeeeeezing!!

2005-11-24T15:47:00.000+01:00

I know it's nothing like Vermont or Alaska.. but it's firking freeeeeeeezing these days!

I drinking a hot chocolate every hour ;)

Wisdoms of Mankind

2005-11-22T17:27:00.000+01:00

There is an exceptional open air exhibition these days in one on Milan’s main shopping street.

"Conceived to acclaim the riches of world cultures and show how much they are intertwined and know no barriers, Wisdoms of Mankind associates the images of one of the best known contemporary photographers, Olivier Föllmi, with quotations chosen with great sensibility by Danielle Pons-Föllmi, researcher in human science.

The project brings together thoughts from great world thinkers and extracts from the cultural heritage of different peoples that have been transmitted orally.

Each of the inspirational and generous texts respond to fundamental questions giving a sense about life, family, children, our society and our future."

I loved it.
I love the idea of being struck by this kind of photos while doing your every day shopping.

Some of them are strucking - representing happy and serene people in harsh enviroments like Himalaya or African deserts, showing how spirituality can coexhist with poverty.

Really inspiring.

Early bird...

2005-11-22T14:08:00.000+01:00

Today I had to attend a meeting with the CEO at 8.30.
We had to prepare some info, as usual, so with my boss we came here at about 7.15 in order to have some time to do last minute checks, make handouts and set the pc for the presentation.

obviously, we checked every single slide about 10 times... and we didn't see a couple of weird things that the Chairman saw at first look--- that's why he's the Chairman and I'm not ----

Anyway, I woke up at 6.30 and took the tube at 6.50 moreless... I usually leave home at 9ish and get to the office at 9.30 -- I know, I'm always later than anyone else in there, but I love sleeping and waking up for me is a devastating process... I put my alarm clock at 8 and usually "5 minutes more, 5 minutes more" --- it's almost 9.

I have a flexible timetable, anyway, so if I don't have a meeting or so it's ok.

This morning I discovered a real new world.... it was still dark.. I met a set of all different people... a bit more relaxed.. mostly students... less car around...

and, suprise, suprise... I'm not more tired than usual, on the contrary, I feel more energetic than ever....
so, maybe I should try to start my working day a bit earlier.. and finish it a bit earlier too...

But I'm sure I won't manage tomorrow morning ;)

Ideas for a new toilet...

2005-11-18T12:41:00.000+01:00

Friends

2005-11-17T17:41:00.000+01:00

I've been a bit sad these days... mainly because I spent a lonely weekend.. I was supposed to fly to South Spain for a long weekend but had tons of work to do on Monday and had to give up.

Ricard had already bought his ticket to Barcelona so I stayed here on my own.
I was already in a bad mood because I was looking forward seeing my friend Tania...

then a few people happened to "dump me".. one I was supposed to go to the theatre on saturday night because her married lover phoned her at 7 p.m saying he was unexpectedly free (she's mad about the guy....); another one was down with flu; the third one with an excuse that seemed really made up - I guess she simply wanted to stay with her boyfriend.. she's in the "only you and me exist, who care about the rest of the world" stage..

I know many people here, mostly are what you would call acquaintances, nice people to hang out for a few drinks.. but after the third dumping my bad mood slowly turned into victimism and wanting to stay alone. I

n a way I had a good time. As I commented in another post, I never get bored on my own... I may get sad.. extremely, shamingly and dramatically sad.. but never bored!

I went walking in the park, collected red and yellow leaves, put them to dry and designed a kind of decoration to make on the smaller sitting room wall.
Cooked some delicious salmon and vodka fusilli, a meat carpaccio with rucola and parmigiano and had it with some fresh white wine.
Watched Breakfast at Tiffany and Shakespeare’s in Love (crying even more).
Bought and ate it all some Belgium chocolate icecream (it was so good not having hubby stopping me saying I’ll end up with indigestion—eventually must admit I had horrible nightmares about a huge spoon trying to kill me).
Bought a few books and CD – some weird swedish jazz singer, the gladiator soundtrack and Coldplay.

But I remained in such a bad mood until today.

Today I feel happy –er.

So I decided to refresh my memory with some friends pictures.

Because I do have many good friends. And I do like staying with them.

Just sometimes some days go in the wrong way.

Mum

2005-11-11T13:46:00.000+01:00

Today it's been 11 years that my mum died.

She had been diagnostic womb cancer in the previous month of may. Too soon.

She was a great person, good-hearted, optimistic, full of sense of humour... and she loved me and my brother immensly.

She didn't have such a happy life I suppose. Her and my dad's marriage was not happy. I think she never left him because she wanted to protect our stability as children, or maybe because she was scared my dad would go mad and do something crazy, or maybe because deeply in her heart she still loved him.

Unfortunately, I can't ask her anymore. I was 18 at that time. I was still going through my reckless and emotional teenagehood, so I didn't have time to become her friend.

I didn't have time to ask her so many things.

I didn't have time to help her to be happier. Every day I pass in front of a shop and I can't help thinking "She'd love it" and I wish I could give her as a present.

She left a hole in my heart and in my life I will never fulfill.

I missed her so much...

When I finished university and got great results.

When I had my heart seriously broken for the first time.

When I had my first job and my first real money.

When I travelled around the world.

When I got married.

When I bought my first flat.

I simply miss her every moment.

My nephew..

2005-11-09T14:34:00.000+01:00

I simply adore him: he just turned 2, he's incredibly curious and seems to absorb all that happens around him, can say many words and little sentences, is always happy and rarely cries, is not afraid of strangers but always welcomes them with great laughs...
I love him so much that sometimes I think that if I'll ever have a child of my own, I can't imagine how it would feel....

Halloween.. loooong weekend!

2005-10-28T17:37:00.000+02:00

here it's national holidays on tuesday... so we're all on holidays on monday too...
In italian is called "fare il ponte" sth like "bridging"

I really need it! I've never enough of holydays... we're going to pisa, no special plans, only my nephew's second birthday, maybe seeing some friends and a nice walk in the countryside. I want to collect leaves and pine-nuts to use as Xmas decorations.

Hope to get some good pictures to decorate my walls with!!!

As for Halloween.. there's not much tradition here, so I don't think I'll do anything.. but we have a typical food for this period of the year which I love... tiny almond sweets, all in different shapes and marron glace-- iced chesnuts.. yummmy!!!

Have a nice we to everybody!

Means of transport

2005-10-26T18:19:00.000+02:00

This is the tram I take to go back home... isn't it what you expected from fashion-guru Milan?
Do you see me with my Prada 10 cm stiletto shoes getting on and off (not that I wear it too often, though!) without killing myself?

But I like it in some way.. it's vintage!

Prayer for a friend

2005-10-25T18:45:00.000+02:00

One of my blogging friends is going through sth reguarding her health today.
She has a wonderful family and I think a happy life. I really wish everything goes well for her so that she can quickly return to it. I'm waiting for her next post. My prayers go to her today.

Spelling

2005-10-25T18:43:00.000+02:00

I realize my english writing is really worse that it used to be.
I know I could use world spelling--- but I'm too lazy --- so please forgive my horrible mistakes ;)

Path in the wood

2005-10-25T17:15:00.000+02:00

At many and different times in my life I have experience the feeling of being trapped.

In my small hometown.. in a dead relationship... in a job I didn't study for... in a family situation I cannot understand.. in a friendship that gives me nothing back anymore... in a flat where I don't feel at home... in a depressing rainy day...

When that happens I wished I could run away.. take a path into the woods... leave the noise behind, hear no voice but my own thoughts.. go up the hills and get lost in the embrace of nature.

I took this picture almost 3 years ago. My husband (just a boyfriend at that time ;) had chosen to leave Italy and take a job in Mexico.

I was utterly hurt.. our relationship was still fresh, we needed to be together to see if it could grow to sth more.. I had already experienced the emptiness and fakedom that long-distance can create. I thought we were doing so well, we were happier that I'd never been that I felt betrayed.

He said we had to be strong, that his career needed this move and that I should be understanding. That if it was true love I had nothing to fear. He would call and write and try to come back every two months.

When he left, I felt trapped. Again. Waiting for his calls, for his letters and emails. Waiting for him to decide wether to come that weekend or another.. Pretending nothing had changed..I was so angry on the first days.

I didn't have a car at that time, so one day that I had stayd at home all day waiting for his phonecall that had not arrived, was so mad I rented one and drove towards the Alps.

I remember driving nervously, and when I reached a narrow winding road I drove up, then parked the car and walked.

At first, fast and breathing heavily and looking at my feet.. than slower and slower, calming down.. the autumn color produced their healing effect on me... I went on enjoying my walking, taking some pictures, getting back in control of my mood, my thoughts.

I thought that I did need him. I couldn't go through being without him. I loved him. If this job was so important to him, I agree I could not ask him to leave it. I could go there with hime. Asked for a year off. Simple. That was the solution.

I got back home. The following morning he phoned me. His voice was broke. He said he had been so stupid, selfish and tactless... he didn't know that he would have miss me, our life, so much. He was so sorry for hurting me. He was now able to see we had to be together. He had just asked his boss to come back.

And so he did.

And a few weeks later I took him to walk in this wonderful piece of wood. We had a great time. I took a few picture as a memory. Now this mexican experience has become a laugh, an old joke...

People I come across...

2005-10-21T14:05:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I walked back home. It's about 30 minutes, but I had to consume the huge cake I had eaten in the morning (see previous post) so was happy to do it.

I like walking anyway, it’s a slower way to get in touch with the surrounding world of the City, observing the people I come across, smelling the coffee aromas or freshly baked bread perfume.

On my way I think I met a sample of various humanoids…
- young woman in her 30s elegantly dressed in Burberry style talking on her own and trying to hide it pulling up her scarf.. but you still could notice the movements of her mouth .. maybe she feels like noone listens to her...
- middle-aged fat man in a tracksuit eating huge ice-cream and walking slowly - probably sent by his wife to do some jogging and loose some weight but cheating ;)
- teenage lovers: cuddling, french-kissing for 10 minutes - they blocked my way at a traffic light but couldn't help smiling - young, naive.. he'll probably dump her in a few weeks and break her hearts and she'll always confront her future boyfriend to his first love :( or maybe they'll grow up together closer and closer and start a wonderful family, who knows..
- a couple of old totally black dressed nuns carrying some Gucci shopping bags-- I didn't manage to glance what was inside but thought it was a funny contrast!
- an old elegant couple, both wearing an expensive looking mink fur (I assure you it’s not so cold!!!) arguing about their young cleaner - "you’re always there watching her tits" "no, I’m worried she breaks sth!" "I don’t believe you, I’ll fire her.." - poor old man, not even beeing allowed to look!
- a bunch of girls in their early 20s, wearing low-waist denims, their flat tummy exposed, colorful jackets, laughing and chatting, probably shopping for a university party (envy!!)
- a few really serious and stressed looking business man, with their anonymous gray suit, white shirt and dark tie, a bunch of newspapers in one hand, talking on the phone, hurrying and pushing me out of their way.. I’m quite familiar with this kind of people.. work with them…
- a young girl, with a beautiful smile… she made me feel happy too :D

How to treat yourself in a foggy day

2005-10-19T11:07:00.000+02:00

Work is worse than ever.

I am frustrated, disappointed, angry and sad.

This morning I really didn't feel like waking up.

When I was a kind and couldn't sleep because I was sad or worried, my Mum used to tell me to concentrate on small pleasures.. like a shop-window full of dolls and colorful little dresses, or the ice-cream van that used to run in our neighborhood...

So, still in bed, I visualized the patisserie in front of my house. That gave me the strength to wake up.

So I took my time.

I had a huge, creamy cappuccino and a slice of a delicious chocolate cheesecake decorated with pine-nuts and strawberry.

I ate comfortably sitting on my own, reading a few chapters of my book (a romantic comedy in Bridget Jones' style) and chatting for a while with the nice girl that works there.

I enlightened a bit my foggy day.

My home town - random pictures

2005-10-17T17:17:00.000+02:00

This is my home town.

When I was 16 I felt trapped there.
Small town, everybody knew me or knew somebody that knew me or my parents or my family or a friend of my family.

The Piazza the miracoli always packed with annoying tourists, tacky shops and expensive bad restautants. The old-style shops. A few students bar. The same pizza places. 2 icecream shops. No clubs. The only culture available was the classics in the theatre or at university. Few other cultural events. Sporadic exibitions. Rare rock concerts.
Few things to explore. Ten minutes by bikes.. and the city was finished. The countryside began. Emptyness.

I was hungry for discovering. Opening up to different people, cultures, habits.
I crave for a Big City. Millions of people to get lost among, flashing lights and skyscrapers, a vortix of shop-windows and restaurant signs, musics and .

I travelled a bit. Lived in some Big Cities.

I came back. I come back often now to visit my dad and friends.

The place has changed a lot - it has become really active, multicultural, "cool" - weird in such a short time..

I have changed too - I have satisfied part of my hunger. I do appreciate more now a slow pace, silent, relaxed country colours, small distances, fresh air and provincial comfort.

I wish I could live there now.

They got me!!!

2005-10-17T15:32:00.000+02:00

It seems like here in the office someone has blocked all my accessess to my blog, uploading pictures... It says "blocked" or "restricted".

I could log here now only after having been trying for 6 hours... and I can't upload any picture... AAAAARGHHHHHHHH!!!

I really need to buy a pc and do my own stuff at home ... But I'm totally broke!!
I HATE HAVING A MORTGAGE!!!!!!

And I still have to buy:

- 4 -6 chairs for the dining room: I can't keep on inviting my friends to "bring your own chair" dinner
- curtains: I don't want my neighbours watching me while dancing on my own while listening to Jamiroquay.. I do it often these days ;))
- a few lamps or I'll break my big toe against the new laundry basket in the bedroom I never see
- some kind of piece of forniture for my shoes.. I have so many that the wardrobe is just full, I can't keep the under the bed as I do now because I have to spend 30 minutes every morning looking for them!
- sex and the city and Friens DVDs: it's a modern household must ;)!

Just an ordinary day

2005-10-13T18:20:00.000+02:00

Nothing new today - Had yogurt and cereals for breakfast.

Spent 20 minutes looking for sth to wear and ended up with my usual black suite with an old Custo-like tshirt and my new Autum Camper shoes (they have a dark green leaf on it!)

Took the tube to work - Worked for a few hours.

Had Burger king for lunch to please my two junior collegues (who are both turning 24 this week and make me feel like the old sister).

Spent about 3 hours on the Internet - No sign for Gorgeous Boss - Going home now.
Maybe to the gym. Maybe not.

Just an ordinary day.

I'm so lucky

2005-10-12T16:13:00.000+02:00

On monday night he cooked me the most delicious dinner.. He hates cooking and can't do it but spent 10 hours in the kitchen while I was at work.

He bought my favourite food (smoked salmon, foie gras, pecorino cheese..), my favourite flowers (tulips) a huge fruit cake and a small deli chocolate one.

He set up the table like in a design restaurant.

He opened a chilled sweet white wine.

He lit many candles.

He put on my favourite romantic music (quite embarassing to admit, but it's a CD of Dawson's Creek soundtrack).

He gave me a very thoughtful present.

We ate.

We drank.

We danced slowly in the sitting-room.

It was happiness.

The day we got married it rained so much. Here they say sth like "Wet bride, lucky one".
well, I think I am and do not regret any drop.

Anniversary

2005-10-10T17:43:00.000+02:00

Today is my first wedding anniversary.

Normally I'm not too much into this kind of celebration (like valentine's day - I find it too commercial) but I admit that today I really feel like spending some real time with Ricard.

He took a day off so he's in Milan now, and at this moment he's at home preparing a surprise dinner.. I'm really excited-- so I'm off too!

It's Friday

2005-10-07T16:21:00.000+02:00

So another long and difficult week is over, Ricard is coming back (well, he just phoned to say that the check-in counters in Rome airport have some problems so there is a loooong que and most flights are delayed..)..

We don't have many plans, go and see some friends in the countryside on sunday and that's it..
We'll improvise!

Have a nice we to everybody!!

Poor Eve..

2005-10-07T13:06:00.000+02:00

I was browsing my fav Brad Pitt fan club and ran into an article by a apparently well-known american artist (you'll tell me if it's true, as here have never heard of him!) who pictured Brad and Angelina as Adam and Eve.

Well, I have quite an adoration for the guy but....
WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS FRICKING BLAMING THE WOMAN WHEN A MAN??????
Has he been forced with violence? Has been tortured to death? Has been kidnapped?? Has been raped by her?? It doesn't seem so!

So, we're quite fed up with this old, conventional point of view that the woman is always the bad seducer and the man is the poor, naive, soft cheese??

Office life and crudelty

2005-10-06T13:12:00.000+02:00

... I was in a 10-minutes meeting with GB, walked back in my office, my collegues all had already left to go to eat, no sign to say "hey, we're here, reach us!".

It confirms the latest trend... They treat me like I'm the cause of everyone's job problem but noone really dared to speak frankly or confront me. It's just this "avoiding", whispering at my back...
I agree here things are quite complicate.
But it really has nothing to do with me. I came here with the most positive attitude, willing to help and improve processes so that we could all work better and less.

I obviously wanted to learn more and do something I liked, but never been competitive at all.
But... maybe being an "external", maybe because they offered me a slightly higher salary , maybe because I'm a bit younger.. well I don't know why and honestly I do not care..
It's so much easier to blame someone than analyze what is the real problem..

This is the usual story of mutual misunderstanding.. I only think that is a shame because actually we all end up unhappy (as they do not resolve any problem in taking it out on me).

I am utterly disappointed by this working experience. But I know what I am worth of, I'm not afraid of change so I will go on with my carreer and my life ...maybe looking for another job or maybe stay here and do my best anyway.

And I'm going for some lovely pizza on my own now!

I love my digital camera...

2005-10-04T18:48:00.000+02:00

I can take all silly pictures I like... (again pictures from spanish holidays)
this was called "still nature with a fork and a salami-skin" - quite a laugh with my friends

Craft shop in Andalusia

Selfportrait in the mirror

My best friend Tanias's eye and some beautiful maiolica in a Tapas restaurant

Still nature part II - spanish onion and tomato (taken from Tania's boyfriend who got obsessed with my camera and took about 20 pictures of his food!)

Vino Tinto - a refreshing typical andalusian drink, chilled red wine with sparkly lemon water

Beautiful maiolica - detail (I got obssed with them!!)

Carved ancient stone - detail

Restaurant sign - I love this pictue, you can see a ray of light...

No-spending sunday

2005-10-04T14:53:00.000+02:00

I was writing a long post about my good relaxing we.. but GB (gorgeous boss ;)) came and in the attempt of hiding it I deleted it... :(
Well, in resumen, It was good but short!

With one note.... on sunday it was pouring down rain, very cold rain, an early beginning of winter.

It was just the perfect day to remain lazily cuddling in bed, we watched "Great Lebowsky" (it's one of Ricard's favourite, he loves Turturro playing the latin-american bowling player!), finished the tons of food and chocholate sweets left over from the previous-night dinner-for 6 I had cooked, a got out just to go to our local gym and do some more relax in the sauna and hammam....

Before going to bed, we suddenly realized it was probably the first day in years we hadn't spent any money!!! (newspapers wew on strike here...)! and I didn't feel any worse ;))

My gorgeous new boss - part III

2005-09-29T10:28:00.000+02:00

Promise it's the last one over him... I don't want to get obsessed with him but..

Last night, had some urget work to do for this mornig, had an argument with one of my colleagues about it, well I ended up doing on my own till 10 p.m.
The bank was empty, all lights in the other offices off, it was only me and the night guard in the building..

While I was getting out extremely pissed off with the entire world (can I say that or sounds too rude??) - I bumped into him, talking on the phone, rushing into the bank...

We looked at each other quite surprised, said "hi" and walked fast in our opposite directions..

Then I heard his voice, soft and (maybe?) worried "Hey, are you ok?".. I just said "yes thanks", didn't turn, hurried towards the tube station...

But I felt a bit awkward for a while...

Me gorgeous new boss - part II

2005-09-27T18:46:00.000+02:00

Today we had a very importan presentation at 10.00, so last night was busy with the ultimate double-checks..

It was about 8, I was still there with my collegues and the middle-boss.

He came to see how it was going.. came next to my pc (I managed to hide my internet windows opened on my blog, the map of copenhagen where I'm planning a romantic mini-break and pictures from the last Gucci catwalk!), set on my desk, asked a few questions, then started..

"G-sh, I'm so tired, I woke up at 6 to catch the flight to come here (he lives with his wife in rome and works here monday to friday, the contrary of my hubby!), I still have to buy sth for dinner, than cook it.. I hate mondays, eating alone, makes me feel so sad, I'd rather go to a nice restaurant..."

Suddenly the middle boss came with some more things to change in my graphs, the other girl joined us and we hecticly kept on working.. he wandered a bit in the room, than said goodnight and went.

Weird... If I didn't know he's gorgeous boss that can probably have any girl he wants and me the standard-looking just married employee... I would think he was about asking to have dinner with him!!!!!! aaaarrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Interview by Miladysa

2005-09-26T17:29:00.000+02:00

I've been interviewd by Myladisa who came up with very intriguing questions for many of us blogger! Here are mine:

1 . If experience and skills were not a qualifying factor and you could manage any business or government department in the world which one would you choose and why?

Well, when I was young and started to study economics I wanted to find a way to develop a more fair trade and business model, decrease poverty, stop consumism to find a better quality of life, preserve the natual enviroment.. well for many reasons, I ended up in a merchant bank, my opinion and ideas totally ininfluent to the rest of the economic system... But I wish I had the chance to rule the World Bank or IMF and actually do sth!!!!

2. What kind of flower would best describe you?
A "non-ti-scordar-di-me" I think in English is a Forget-me-not... really tiny, brigth blue, simple and therefore just beautiful.. and unforgettable.. at least that's how my hubby sees me with loving eyes :))

3. Would Benedict XVI have been your choice for the new Pope?
Definitly not... Nothing against him personally (I must admit I don't know much of his writings and thoughts before) but I'd like the Church to become more and more open to the so-called third world.. so I preferred an indian or south american pope.

4. What is your favourite poem, verse or song?
very difficult.... anything from Baudelaire, Herman Hesse or Pablo Neruda or an italian writer called Leopardi. But a single poem is "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran...

"When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.""

(a bit long, for this post, isn't it?)

5. Which six guests, past or present, would you invite to a dinner party and were would you host the event?
Even more difficult - there are soooooo many!!! But if I have to choose I'd like to have a ball in Versailles, like the used to do in the 17th centuries with dressing, musics, fireworks in the garden -- and I would invite
- Maria Antonietta: she've always fascinated me, her tragic life as the symbol of the decadence of royal class, and at the same time a modern passionate woman (she was forced to marry when 14 and then fell desperatly passion for a swedish noble). She'll be the perfect host for the evening
- Cleopatra - she too had a unique destiny..
- Bono Vox: I think he'd look good in a 17th costume and I could talk to him about world poverty (see above) and I'll make him sing for me
- San Francis of Assisi: he's simply my hero.. I wish I could spend with him just a few second.. and he used to be a rich knight, so he'll do well in versailles!
- Groucho Marx - I love his sense of humor! He could surely animate the party!
- and..... last but not least, I'm no original and very materialistic... Brad Pitt!

Alhambra - Granada

2005-09-23T17:47:00.000+02:00

These days in Europe there's a great debate about Islamic people... Are they trying to distroy western culture, are they just victims of western culture, are they a danger for us, are we for them... I think the issue is extremely complicate and I hate when people on newspaper or on tv are just trying to simplifiy it, no matter to which conclusion.

I've been only once in an Islamic country, Egypt. I didn't stay there very long to formulate a real opinion and honestly was much more interested in visiting the archeological sites of the ancient Egyptians.

So, a part from eating in some dodgy place in the suk or buying some spices at local markest, I didn't get much into their lives but I got the impression of a not just poor but extremely decadent and dirty place (I've other places in south america or asia so poor but full of dignity). But I repeat, it's only a very superficial feeling...

This summer I went to Andalusia, south of Spain. It was a Muslim Reing for about 800 years untill the "Reconquista" of the Christian Kings about 1400. The Arabs have left amazing sings of their at the time so much advanced civilization. Beautifully designed gardens, daring architectures, elegant decorations.... I was so impressed. It was really weird walking through their imponent palaces and mosquees (how do u say that in english? boh?) but in a typical western set..

While I was in the Alhambra in Granada, thanks to a perfect sunny day, I really wishes I could go back in time and see how life was there.. and maybe understand what went wrong...

ps: I didn't manage to upload my picture in a album (like flicker) in any way.. maybe there's some firewall or similar in my pc at work :-(

Hectic week

2005-09-23T10:16:00.000+02:00

This week has been really hectic. I did and undid and re-did 5 presentations at the same time, trying not to mix up numbers...
I did my short one to our new gorgeous boss.

He's so concious of his good looks (expecially in this bank full of old and ugly men!) he just likes looking deep in your eyes to make you feel uncomfortable!

But I'm very professional so, while looking at his long elegant hand and his sexy wrists coming out of his stilysh withe shirt... I didn't get distracted any minute and did my professional duty!! only when I finished I think I blushed a bit ;-)

Today is a calm day, but next week there are other meetings, other decision to be taken

I'm trying to post my pictures on a web album... it seems almost impossible!

Very low productivity....

2005-09-16T16:13:00.000+02:00

Today I feel so lazy.. must be my headache or just because it's friday!
My job: I'm a kind of business and financial analyst in a small investment bank; basicaly I make up numbers to support strategic (?) decisions.. Today I spent most of my time preparing a presentation.. My biggest dilemma is, which graph should I use?

Shades of blue or red?
This may sound like a joke, but it very important the way you represent an idea, even in dull finance!

But can't make my mind up today so I'm going home and leave it to Monday!! as donald duck would say.. never do now something you can do tomorrow!!!!

Plans for the weekend:
Ricard is coming home 19ish, so it's time to IKEA!!! I like when we behave like the average suburbian couple... happens quite rarely ;-) we have to shop for many housing items and I love IKEA, you can buy tons of unnecessary stuff for a few euros!

Then there are some cool art exhibitions these days, one is open-air scupltures from a chinese woman and a photography one by famous french Deisnau (don't remeber how to spell it), a free concert nextdoor bookshop and a an organic potatoes festival!
So there's plenty to choose!
And if the waether is fine, we'll go to look for wild mushrooms ;-) yum!!!

.CAT

2005-09-16T16:05:00.000+02:00

Yuppy!! Ricard just phoned to tell me last night has been approved the new domain .CAT that means Catalunya. One step more towards surviving...

For those who don't know about it, it's a long story of minorities, languages... my husband is from Barcelona, which is in Spain but used to be an indipendent country, Catalunya, with its own language and whose colture is quite different from the rest of Spain. So he's very sensitive to this matter.. and I've become as well!

Back to school

2005-09-15T16:36:00.000+02:00

My head feels a bit better now.. still a I feel a bit dizzy..

Today is a sunny clear day. The air is fresh, "frizzante" and smells like "going back to school days" - all type of new stationary items and college-style clothes are appearing in shops, lots of children and youngsters are excitingly spending their last days of freedom in the ice-shop in front of my office..

I feel a bit nostalgic… There’s a very nice post from Cheryl about what she misses of childhood… and one of it I agree is getting a new diary and a coloured pencil set!

I used to love this time of year. Here in Italy summer holidays are quite long, usually from mid June to mid September. My mother was a teacher in junior school and my father at university, so they basically had long holidays too, so we used to spend rent a house at the seaside and spend about 2 months there.

We used to go to a little seaside village in the south of Italy where other family friends went as well, so my brother and I had some friends to play with. We also met many other children, and I remember having a really wonderful time.

The house was situated just on a small sandy dune on the beach, so it was 50 meters down from our porch to directly into the water. I experienced my first independence there, as my parents (normally quite strict when in town) would just leave us free to go in and out, stay with our friends who had a house nearby, walk to the village..

Well, I was 5 when we first went there, and 15 the last time… so I had my first crush, my first kiss, my first boyfriend... one of the kids of my brother’s gang who was a couple of years older than me, me slowly turned from children playing with sand castle into teenage lovers.. hiding in my father’s boat at night, sitting the porch while my mother was cooking lunch pretend to do our homework and writing each other silly love letters instead…

But this is an other story, I wanted to say that 2 months away from your normal life are quite long when you’re a child and in the end I was getting a bit bored there.. other families had normal 3-4 weeks holidays, so at the end of august houses were closed, people came to say goodbye, days were not so hot, clouds appeared en in the sky often bringing rain, the sea turned to grey, I was starting to feel I was left behind and longing to go back home to catch up with my real life (I’ve always been a very thoughtful and incline to nostalgia child).
When my father used to say "time to go back" I rushed to pack my things in relief… I was so happy to find again my little room in Pisa again, my books, my toys.. and getting ready to go back to school!

Nowadays that my summer holidays shrank to 3-4 weeks I wonder how could I get bored of them???????

Headache and chairs

2005-09-13T13:38:00.000+02:00

My computer is definitely gone, no rescue. The young guy at the computer shop (looks like 13, with black Iron Maiden Tshirt and talking about 300 words-a-second) told me they can probably save my datas on the hard disk.. which is good!

I must get a new one, I’m now so much computer-holic that I can’t stand the idea of not having mine… we’ll see…. I wanted to post pictures from my holidays because I took quite a few good one and am very proud of my new canon digital camera.

These days I’ve a horrible headache that doesn’t go away.. I’m not a fan of medicine but I admit I took quite a few over the weekend because I have very low level in coping with physical suffering, and this time it is extremely painful..
today at 6 I’m going to see my doctor, hopefully will find the right remedy… otherwise I will just spend the rest of my life in bed waiting for the headache to disappear!. Will it be just stress-caused? it's hironic how I quit my job as a business consultant becasue I was working too much (9-23 almost every day, often on saturdays..) and now I have a regular 9-6 banking job I have headaches more and more often...

Ricard works in rome during the week. So he’s off for the airport monday 6 a.m and comes back friday 8pm. Which leaves me alone here in milan.
As a matter of fact, I'm not alone at all..I know many people here… but most of them are only.. "acquaintances" (as my grandma would say), all in some ways related to work and honestly they do not fill my hunger for humanit. So when I feel in the mood, I’d rather stay at home reading a book.. I do get bored quite easily with other people but rarely on my own…. And if it's probably true that good friends don't subsitute a love-companion (ricard's favourite!) also a love-companion does not sobstitute a good bunch of friends....

I the meantime, I must choose chairs for the dining room.. the table is modern and basic in wenge (african really dark wood that here is most fashionable) and I’m wondering whether dark or contrasting light chairs… uhm really serious dilemma, isn’t it? I’m discovering a new world.. there must be at leas 60 different producers, 5000 models (most of them just look the same to me… ) a basic one cost about 200 euros (175 dollars).. If I though I had a hard time with the table, this is going to be a nightmare! Here are the nominees, any suggestion?

Sleeping beauty and a foam party

2005-09-07T18:55:00.000+02:00

Ricard's father’s partner (a very ugly and irritating but rich woman) owns a modernist house dating from 1910 in a pretty village south of Barcelona called Sitges.
As according to Modernist style (the catalan version of Art Nouveau and Jugendstil) , it is beautifully decorated on the facade and it's interior design was inspired by a fairy-tale castle.... in the middle of main bedroom there's like a giant light green oak-trea whose branches and leaves become the ceiling .. I felt like the Sleeping Beauty each time I lay in that bed!

We wanted to have some intimacy and since the house was empty we spent there a few days, going to the beach, lazily sunbathing in the terrazza overlooking the promenade, eating fresh seafood bought directly from fishermen impeccably ;-) cooked by myself....

Although Sitges is well known in Europe as a party place, exp. in gay area, we had a romantic break.. until the very last day when we met Manu, Ricard best friend since childhood who turned out to be gay after dating a girl for 6 year and having fixed a wedding date, who took us out on our last night there.. we went to the usual (at least in spain as ricard told me??) foam party in a disco and ended up dancing techno in a beach club with Manu's friend until the morning after! Quite an experience but definitely good fun. I think I was a bit drunk and slightly remember inviting about 300 people to a house-warming party in Milan...

Computer crash

2005-09-06T11:46:00.000+02:00

I'm just back from holidays... arrived late last night after a one-stop-only-10 hours' drive from barcelona.
This morning I woke up a bit jet lagged.. turned on my computer to download pictures and update this blog.. just the silly thing didn't work anymore! Ricard tried every way... no intent! He's going to a shop to see if they can fix it, I stopped at an internet cafè in the nearby library...

Anyway, holidays were great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we've seen so many friends, spent some relaxing time, ate soooooo much delicious food and good wine, discovered litlle villages and unspoilt woods..................

I could spend my life travelling, my secret dream is to be a travel journalist... Jst getting paid for experimenting new posh hotels or tasting food in tiny romantic restaurants ;-)

On the road...

2005-08-12T12:53:00.000+02:00

Ok, time has come to clean up the mess on my table, hide well all the unfinished stuff I was supposed to do instead of getting hooked by the "blog" world, throw away all the rotting apples I stocked in my drawer in the attempt of a last-minute diet, promptly forgotten in favour the usual 3 P's - pizza, pasta and pig - (by pig we mean all his unhealthy derivates such as ham and all type of salami), set my "out of office" automatic reply, print a couple of maps I need, pick up husband arriving at airport at 6 and off we go!

I normally don't get so childishly excited about going on holidays.. But this last months have been tiring and difficult for me and I need a long break.

We usually take advantage of larger holidays to do some long distance travelling, but this year Ricard didn't go much to visit his family and I also feel the need to see friends and people that can reassure me a bit, so we planned this small itinerary:

- a few days in Tuscany to see my dad and some friends (hopefully we'll go to the beach)
- drive to Central France to visit my best friend Anne
- spend a few days near Bordeaux visiting vineyards and romantic castles
- stop in Andorra (a secluded tiny nation hidden on the mountains between France and Spain) to visit sister-in-law....
- fly to Southern Spain to meet up with some friends and do a touristic route - seville, cordoba..
- spend a few days in Barcelona visiting family, friends and hopefully doing some museum or art exposition or concert (there's always a lot going on there)
- spend a few days at the Beach in Costa Brava
- drive back to Italy stopping somewhere on the French Riviera.

Must be back for 6th of september as they'll come and deliver us our new stilish forniture for the living room.. that'll cost a fortune but I'm very proud of (here) - now books are piled up in the kitchen and tv is on the floor) but that leaves us about 22 days which is ok.

Ciao, Buone vacanze!
I'll try to post sth in the meantime and take some good pictures...

4 things worth listening...

2005-08-12T12:32:00.000+02:00

I'm reading a book by a chinese-american woman Amy Tan called The Hundred secret Senses. The title and illustration (a picture pf swans on a artic lake) intrigued me, but I'm finding very hard to read it.. it's a bit boring so far, but I hate to stop, always think it wouldn't fair in case it will get better. On this morning tube journey I read a short paragraph...

"I thaught her what makes the world a livelible place: dawn and sunset, cold and hot, dust and heat, dust and wind, dust and rain.

I thaught her what is worth listening in this world: wind, thunder, horses gallopping in the dust, pebbles falling into water"

Ups and downs...

2005-08-12T10:36:00.000+02:00

Today luckily it's a up! Last night went to see two of my best friends that just moved to Milan; they have a cool TV and home theatre set and we watched Lord of the Rings - the Return of the King - extended version ---- I LOVE IT!!! We finished quite late and I slept on their couch!

So today I'm still full of Chivalry, Heroism, Friendship, Love, Hope, Honour...

ps: I saw the first one in London (English), the second in Milan (Italian) and the third in Barcelona (Catalan). We have the first two in DVD in Spanish, last night I saw in Italian... getting a bit confused with names (i.e. strider, granpasso, trancos...) !!

I'm a failure

2005-08-11T16:02:00.000+02:00

... at least in dealing with friendships.. In making myself loved in return... I feel like I've spent so much time seeding.. but nothing is growing out of them... Well maybe some are but today I feel so empty..

Art at work

2005-08-10T17:05:00.000+02:00

Horrible day yesterday.. I'm alone in the office as everyone's on holiday and I'm going next week.
I spent the whole day answering to hysterical phone calls, putting up with absurd requests, having to do archeology into my colleagues drawers to find so-called important documents.... Thanks g-d two more days to my holidays!

Only notable thing: there's a guy I work with, about 45, is also a painter.. Well he's a very interesting guy: he was teaching philosophy before entering the Banking industry, married to a psychologist, has very peculiar views of contemporary society and children education.. Maybe I'll resume in a post one of our conversation.. We do agree on some thing but have completely opposite political ideas!

He sent me some pictures of his paintings... some of them are really beautiful, he took inspiration from river pebbles and their changing colors..

or are quite visionary like this one..

I envy him a bit in being able to give a shape to his visions.. I used to go to drawing school as part of my borgeois education, but was to lazy to practice shades on a pear or a bottle so I never really learnt--- I regret it now, should I try again?

Interview - from Ari

2005-08-09T12:43:00.000+02:00

There's a really cool blog from a guy who can write quite well called Ari that launched an interview joke.. here's the one for me

Questions
1: You are given a full-length mink coat. Will you wear it, and why?
2: Who are the two most important people in your life?
3: Who is your favorite composer? Favorite composition?
4: You are allowed to choose one work of art from the Galleria degli Uffizi to keep. What would it be?
5: Shag, Marry, Push Off a Cliff. Please put each of the following into the aforementioned categories: Eros Ramazzotti, Silvio Berlusconi, Carson Daly.

My answers
1: no way--- mink is really demodé, old lady style--- and not kind to animals..

2: Easy to answer.. my mum (who died 10 years ago) and my husband

3. Ufh... have lots, depend on my mood, what's happening in my life.. This days for example I feel grand and I'm listening to Mahler - sinfonia n9!! But if I have to choose I'd go for Beethoven - Sonata #14 Al chiaro di Luna (emotional reason again: my mother used to play it for me when I was a child and it's the first "adult" composition I learnt to execute) and Vivaldi - Concerto 8 (RV 522) really shakes all my senses

4: Very difficult too.. But I'll choose Paolo Uccello - San Romano's Battle. I love the way he paints the shapes of the horses and use strong colors, I think he's incredibly modern considering dates cica 1430. It's a trittico and the other two parts are in Louvre and National Gallery I think. (ps I don't like Uffizi as a museum.. Too old fashioned way of exhibition, not enough big rooms whose walls are so packed of paintings you can't really see them... mixing masterpieces with boring imitations valuable only because are old..)

5: Even worse!!! If I really have to choose shag Ramazzoti, as long as he doesn't sing, marry Carlson Daly (hopefully he'll introduce me to Bono or some other rockstar--- thanks G-d there's divorce) and push berlusconi off a cliff, maybe after he'd listened to the whole Ramazzoti's repertory!

Now Rules:
Want to play?The Official Interview Game Rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

La città eterna

2005-08-09T11:35:00.000+02:00

I've just come back from a great long we in Rome... I love the eternal City: you can breath history at every corner, enjoy so much art from every period (ancient greek and obviously roman, middle age, renaissance, baroque, 1700 neoclassicism, some modern and contemporary too). I've visited Rome many times since I was a child and I lived there for 1 year and a half recently so I know all the most popular sites as I am a missed archeologist .

I love wandering about narrow streets and tiny piazzas and discover romantic views or unknown fountains and statues... My favourite area are the Ghetto and Piazza della Rotonda where the Pantheon is.. I could spend the entire night just sitting on the steps of the fountain looking at all the reflextions of the moon and soft electrict lights on the millenarium marble...

And then head off to Trastefere for a bowl of Carbonara, some Pecorino Romano and a bottle (or batter a fiasco) of genuine local red wine.

I really wish I could spend one day back in time and meet emperor Augusto!
(ps for some great pictures go here

Pesto, white wine and a good chat

2005-08-04T16:15:00.000+02:00

Last night Anna invited a few friends for dinner. She's going on holyday and wanted to consume her basil plants before they died in Midsummer heat.

Perfect soirée: good pasta with pesto sauce, white chilled wine Corvo Glicine, pineapple tiramisu (maybe comida would have liked it), lots of chatting, jokes, some salsa dancing... Happy again!!

Vanity Fair List

2005-08-03T18:23:00.000+02:00

I found out two new blogs today I loved... Glamourama and Urban Barbara... They both included their Vanity Fair list, so I'll do mine!

Beauty Products:
Lipstick - Clinique supergloss
mascara - Dior extra black
Eye Shadow - Dior pale pink
Shampoo - Charles Worthington Shine On
Moisturizer - Biotherm Aqua Source
Perfume - CK One or Anais Anais Cacharel
Nail Polish - Any as long as it's Dry quiclky and pinkish

Electronics:
Cell - Nokia- basic one.. I hate cells, hate the idea people can ring you anytime, anywhere...
Computer - HP - when I left my job as a consultant and had to hand back my laptop I felt very sad... Had been my day and night companion ;-)
MP3 - Ipod (but still have to buy it!)
Stereo - Brand new huge Sony to play out loud in my new flat!

Home:
Where do you live - first floor 3 bedroom flat, Milan. Just moved in..
coffeemaker - Typicall italian "moka" 4 cups-- for friends only, never drink coffee
Sheets - No brand, as long as they're smooth and perfectly ironed (not by me of course!)
Car -- my dad's old one, a Ford

Beverages:
Bottled water: levissima (italy only) otherwise I like only springwater
coffee - don't like coffee-- only drink it as a medicine when I need to waken up.. But I love the "marocchino" of a bar here in Milan (coffee, chocolate, nutella, whipped cream..... well there's very little coffee..)
Cocktail: martini bianco with orange slice and lots of ice cubes

clothes (so many....)
jeans - Diesel
Lingerie - La perla (when can afford to buy it ;-)
Sneakers - don't wear them.. I use sth similar by Camper
Watch - NEVER wear it..
Day Bag - a huge one to contain all my staff.. like a black lether one by Furla
Evening Bag - tiny and silky, have lots from Accessorize

Summer thunderstorm

2005-08-03T10:59:00.000+02:00

Last night I was out with two girlfriends Enza and Anna Maria.. the routine "aperitivo", a drink and a girlie chat in a nice bar on the Naviglio full of young people trying to escape summer loneliness....

We had good fun.. when we decided it was time to move to the next bar and attempted to get out.. discovered it was pouring down rain... a perfect tropical thunderstorm.

As Enza tried to ring her boyfriend to make him drive us back home, Anna and I started running under the rain laughing.. I loved the feeling of cold water on my hot skin, the wind messing up my hair, the look of people hidden inside bars and restaurants like we were mad

.... Then we reached the Tube station and went back home... Happy as a child...

Walk on

2005-08-02T15:47:00.000+02:00

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring...

And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight...

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom
(...)
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home...hard to know what it is if you never had one
Home...I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the heart is
(...)
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme...

PS: Picture taken at last month concert here in milan

Panico da pagina bianca

2005-08-02T15:17:00.000+02:00

Don't know if there's a similar expression in english... is that unique feeling of being completely blocked when in front of a white page where you're supposed to write down tons of interested things...

Well, I've always thought I DO HAVE lots of things to say... just now can't remember any!!

So just to breake the ice (?) a little bit about myself: 30, italian professional, live in milan, married (last october) to a guy from barcelona..

Don't know why I started to write in english.. maybe because most blogs I read are in english.. or maybe because writing in a foreign language makes me feel more "protected"?

Why this title?? From a U" album... is just to represent that many times I tried to "clean up" the horrible mess in my office drawers, in my house, in my childhood bedroom, in my mind.. but maybe my life so far has been ups and down but undoubtflully full --- full of memories of people, places, musics, feeling I CAN'T, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND --- I want to bring them all with me as they are part of me....

I'll be trying to write down part of this mess... maybe if I fix it (well not on paper, but somewhere in the cyber-space!) I will never loose it...

Fresh start

2005-08-02T15:08:00.000+02:00

Finally, I have my own blog!

Ecce blog! Fiat blog!!! ok, stop it...

I've been reading a few blogs recently but never really thought about having one of my own...

well, today all of a sudden I tought why not? and thanks to a very lazy day in my office here I am!